reflections and confessions

Privacy
you get sweeter
everyday
Lonliness
you’ve been replaced
by peacefully alone
Husband
you are the ring
on someone else’s finger
I belong
only to me
and I am where I belong
Pillow
you are my palate
so many colors in my dreams
my lucidity
in these subconcious fascinations
is a great gift
Mother
you are the one
who loves me unconditionally
without even understanding me
Father
you are the first
of many men
to let me down
and I pity [...]

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Cosme

All lovers worth having
are out of reach
two steps before our enamoured face
and taller than all actuality
growing ever more large with time
like ivy on my heart
you sprawl
so unaware of me
cool familiar stranger
in all the usual places we meet
surrounded by “friends”
who would never approve of you
in love with me
so I dare not try
I don’t even believe
that I might [...]

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The Turkish Man with the Italian Restaurant

The classiest diner
in a town of 75,000–
take your new date
to impress her –
candle-lit outdoor seating
and authentic, charming waiters
with heavy accents
elegance that can only be dubbed
“Italian”
but on a quiet day
he is there
with his modest suit
and proud smile
he talks to the ladies
meeting for wine
on a tuesday
he smiles and tells his story
“Seventeen years old
when I came to America”
(no one asks [...]

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since it ended

2 years
2 jobs
one new flat
in the city
one nearly good relationship
many bad dates
new friends
new outlooks
new partners–
well
more for you…
more prudness
from me
2 new outlooks
on life
more time at the gym
5 less pounds
a smaller butt
a better appreciation
for life
family
the few true friends
more observation
more hesitation
more sure
of what we want
and what we don’t
but
far from certain…
so many things change
the same face
but less familiar
realities
I’d rather not know
you
me
might [...]

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different

different
funny word
concept for something
which cannot exist
only opposite
something else
i’m different
now
i’m someone else’s
same
closed doors
and pensive reflections
inside
looking out
wishing someone
was
different
and just like me…

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None but Yours

Threadlike
Pale
Waterless
Cracked
Calloused
Gauzy
Desiccated
Undesirable
Slivers
On Their Empty Faces
Dry
Dreary
Despicable
Lifeless Little Holes
For Food
Untouched
Unsought
Unnecessary
Lover,
There are no lips but yours.

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a funk

came to our spot
at 3:52
you said you’d be there
by the fountain
in the fog
our embrace would
send the low clouds
packing
sunshine in our eyes
for each other
lover you were
my East
and everything that rises
a sanctuary on the page
the one who keeps
grey skies in check
and i was waiting for you
at 3:52
but you never came.

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on getting older…

tick tock tick tock tick tock
twenty-nine
never meant to dissappoint my mother
by making an honest living
on my own
men just don’t
impress me anymore
so i stopped looking.
 
Laying restless
with too much energy
at 11pm
afraid to hit the reset button
and wake up
a crabby woman tomorrow
DAMN NEAR 30
i forget which category that puts me in
in some 90’s  Chris Rock song
i only know
that sometimes
it is all [...]

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where you lie

is your head
on a pillow
or a shoulder
your nose in a book
or the napp of a neck
the route you take
from A to B
is not always
a highway
tell me,
future lover,
where do you lie?
in an ear
or on a bed?

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Milan

paint
don’t tell
your portraits-
striking women
baloon-like breasts
anatomically incorrect waists
the kind of indignate beauty
seen in video games
and comic books
made for boys
not for men…
but those depictions
where not
for you
 
we had a conversation
once
i asked you which was
more beautiful-
the male or female figure
you said you once thought
the latter
but then
you recently changed
your mind
 
an artist
an interesting perspective
ideologies
and philosophies
bubbling up over
your books
i admired your curiousity
and mused [...]

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